On Starting Over

Chrysalis

Such a tricky thing, at my age, starting over.

When so many others only a few years older are anticipating retirement, here I am, a middle aged single parent, contemplating a new career and, quite possibly, a new business.

Insanity seems a very real explanation. Mid-life reassessment? Most definitely. The process is, without a doubt, frightening, exciting, confusing, frustrating, and somewhat more challenging that they would have you believe.

I am left wondering if the saying is indeed true, that it’s never too late to start over. But I do know one thing to be true: It’s too late to turn back now.

And so, despite the shrieking in the back of my mind, asking me what the hell I could be thinking, I am stepping once again into the unknown.

The last time I was faced with the task of starting over, by no choice of my own, I fought tooth and nail against it and it cost me precious years of my life. In the end, the very thing I railed against turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to me, a wonderful gift wrapped in shitty wrapping paper.

This time, I will do my best to ignore the voice of my fears, as much as an obnoxious annoying neighbour can be ignored, placated is more like it. And I will listen carefully for the small quiet voice in my heart that tells me it’s going to be ok, not just ok, it’s going to be good, really good.

I just have to believe…

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