Looking over the edge…

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In life, there are times when you realize that you are sitting on the “edge”.  The trouble is, you often don’t fully appreciate the nature of the edge you’re sitting on…until you have the courage to look down.

You go along, living the minutia of day-to-day life, with “something” niggling away at the back of your mind.  It tends to sneak up on you gradually, dangling just out of awareness.  A sense that you’ve forgotten to do something important before you left home that day, like turn off the stove or lock the window.

And it just sits there in the back of your mind, fermenting like pizza dough.  Often, with practice, you can punch it back down, by focusing as much attention as possible on all of the “urgent but not important” little things that absolutely have to get done – taking the kids to dance practice and soccer, paying the utility bills, grocery shopping, mowing the lawn, walking the dog – the endless list of things to do.  Some are better at this than others, and are able to punch down their “something” over and over, never allowing it to rise, and can keep it up for their entire lives.  Ah, such a blissful existence!  Or perhaps not…

Sadly, I have recently come to the realization that I am not one of those.  And my “something” has finally caught up with me.

So here is where I find myself…writing.

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